Oh, no you di-int!

I have a former friend who just can't leave shit alone.
It had been 10 months since I last communicated with said friend - I'll call her L - before her drama resurfaced. I'll get to that in a minute, but first, a little back story.
L was the wife of one of my husbands very good friends, we'll call him K. They were both part of a larger group of friends with whom we went to sing karaoke with every Friday night. My husband and I both stood up in K & L's wedding, and went on a trip to Florida as a group to celebrate thier honeymoon as well as attend my sister's wedding and just plain 'ol have a good time. (And let me tell you, that trip has some stories! But I'll save those for another post...)
The thing about L though is no matter how hard you try, you can never quite understand her.
While on the trip to Florida, she was moody and depressed almost the entire time (which really shouldn't have surprised me, as she is that way all the time), to the point of ruining some of the fun of others - namely her new husband - and took to sulking on the patio instead of swimming, drinking and conversing with the rest of us. I had to talk to her while there and tell her to snap out of it, that she was on a trip with some of her best friends and celebrating her honeymoon and that she shouldn't be all doom-and-gloom. That worked for a couple days, but eventually she returned to her normal self. When we returned from the trip, she proceeded to tell everyone that would listen that she had a horrible time. (*author's note: the reason she had a shit time is because she had no money to do anything because she doesn't work!)
Over the next six months or so, she proceeded to get more doom-and-gloom-ish and starting to post weird, depressing status updates on her facebook and myspace profiles that always had someting to do with having a "confused heart". Whenever one of us would ask her about it, she would pretty much bite off our head and say that they were just song lyrics that she liked.
This went on for a couple more weeks, and then she finally decided to confesses to her husband that she's not really happy in their marriage and that she has someone else that she has feelings for. K is obviously hurt, confused and pissed off, so he needs time to think.
After a couple days, this was her status on facebook:
Hurt, confused, annoyed...I just loooooooove the silent treatment
to which her friend replied:
Don't you just? you should repaint all the walls lime green! Or glow in the dark! Man, we could leave messages...

I assume this post was because L told her friend some bullshit story about how she was the victim in all of this...So, seeing these messages really pissed me off and I do not take kindly to cheating whores. How dare she make herself the victim! I decided it was time to put her in her place. This is a transcript of the "conversation" that took place between myself, K, L and a few other friends - M, E and KC.


Me: hmmm...well if you're commenting on one guy (K) I'm not surprised. He's now doing the same thing that you did to him. If you're speaking of a different guy (man she was a cheating whore with), he may be as "confused" as you were not too long ago and trying to "figure things out". So I guess the saying "what goes around comes around" applies here.

E: Or you could pick up the phone and call him! Just a thought.

M: wiseman once said...silence is golden, but never pay full price for late pizza...

L: Yeah thanks alot.....i feel so much better now!

Me: You are trying to make yourself into the victim, when that is so not true. YOU married a man that you didn't love. YOU then "didn't really cheat" with someone else. I don't blame that person if they don't want to speak with you right now.

M: amen, sister

L: So let me get this straight...before he knew it was "call me if you need me" and "I'm always here for you if you need to talk" but now that he knows its "it's your own damn fault you opened your mouth you should have just suffered in silence and dealt with it." We're both victims i could give a crap less if everyone wants to call me the "bad guy" it seems it would have been better if i just would have remained bitchy and cranky because we were making each other miserable and carried out a life with someone who can't talk about how they feel or even defend me against his family....i'm sorry but i'm through trying to make everyone else happy, i've lived that way for four years and i'm not doing it anymore. Call me selfish or a bitch or "the bad guy" if you want but i'm living for me for a change and if no one will stand next to me in the decisions i make then okay if that's how you feel. Sorry if it breaks up the group but i'm no fun when i'm miserable and you all know that.

Me: No, I'm not saying that you should suffer in silence at all. Everyone deserves that chance to be happy. What I am saying is that you should never have gotten yourself into this to begin with. I was trying to be a supportive friend, but certain facts came to light - finding out "the whole story" - that you never loved him in the first place and a lot of this could have been avoided if you could have been honest with yourself and everyone else to begin with. Saying that you got married "for your families" is a bunch of crap. You're an adult and should have acted like one.

L: where did you get "i never loved him" from?????

Me: Do you deny it? I have had two people tell me that is what you said to them, (*author's note: one of them was K. Ok, back to the story) along with that the only reason you got married was because of your families. I don't understand that logic, seeing as you hate your family. From the conversation that you and I had a couple weeks ago, it sounded to me like you were having confused feelings about K and someone else. Fine - I can understand that. It happens to a lot of people. But it was also my understanding that you were going to talk to a counselor/therapist and try to work things out, maybe have K and you talk to someone together to try and work it out somehow. Then, a few days later you tell K that you never really loved him and that you got married because of your families. I don't know. I feel like you didn't tell me the 100% truth and were just trying to make yourself feel better about the situation.

L: While i would like to know who told you that, cause i havent really talked to anyone since this all happened, i just dont care. People will say what people will say and im just getting more and more frustrated with everyone pointing the finger at my back. Accuse now ask questions never. If people want to believe off the cuff comments or remarks then so be it but i know what really happened and thats all that matters.

Me: You didn't answer my question. Do you deny it?

M: is there any reason the finger should NOT be pointed at you? you are the bad guy because you are actually IN the wrong. stop acting like you're innocent and blaming us for you're mistakes.

L: I am not blaming anyone and yes i did and still do love K. I am not the only one in the wrong here.

K: Why am I in the wrong here? If so what the hell did I do wrong??

KC: what did K do that was wrong? you admitted to me that you cheated and he left because of it... do you really, honestly blame him? Wouldn't you have done the same in his situation. I don't know what went on behind closed doors without the rest of us around... nor will I pretend to, however, I will say this.. no relationship is perfect. Everyday it's like going to work... from my observation in Florida, the work was kind of one sided. You tell everyone just how miserable the trip really was for you, but you never gave yourself a chance to enjoy it. All I know is that something changed and it maybe could have been prevented.... own your decisions. We can't make them for you... nor can anyone make decisions for any of us but ourselves. the night of the incident you had obviously made up your mind on the marriage... Not talking isn't going to fix anything, or make it go away. Like E said, pick up the phone. What hurt can it do?

E: Wow!

And with that, she was done talking to any of us...for the time being.

K filed for divorce and a few months later, all was said and done. K was moving on and started dating a girl, A, that we all love. She is friendly, sweet and gets along great with everyone. K is a much changed person with her, now that he doesn't have a leech sucking the life out of him. K and A have been dating for about six months and guess what? L can't stand that K is happy, so she decides it is time for a new facebook status.

L: It's amazing how you can look at one memory and realize how much you totally fucking hate some people! Asshole couldn't even tell me happy birthday. What the fuck is that about!? Screw you! You inconsiderate selfish can't keep it up JERK! And you're girlfriend is UGLY! What the HELL are you thinking!? I know you have a... small pecker but atleast date someone who doesn't look like a reject from Oprah Winfreys fat camp!

Oh, no you di-int! How dare you attack my friends when they have done NOTHING to you. Bitch. I will verbally cut you. I draft a letter, make sure A doesn't want anything added to it and this is what I send her:

"It's amazing how you can look at one memory and realize how much you totally fucking hate some people! Asshole couldn't even tell me happy birthday. What the fuck is that about!? Screw you! You inconsiderate selfish can't keep it up JERK! And you're girlfriend is UGLY! What the HELL are you thinking!? I know you have a... small pecker but atleast date someone who doesn't look like a reject from Oprah Winfreys fat camp!”

Really? This was your status earlier? Well, I would LOVE to deconstruct your status.
So, which one memory are you talking about? The one where you “didn't really cheat on him” Oh yeah, that should piss you off. How selfish of him to be devoted to you. Oh, and bringing up the size of anything – from a penis to a person – is completely bitchy. If you can dish it out, I sure hope you are ready to receive. You need to take a long look in the mirror before you start throwing stones at anyone. No one is perfect and how dare you attack someone when you yourself have those same issues. Perhaps we need to take a look at you application to said camp to see if it was rejected?
You have a lot of issues that you need to take care of. You've been blaming other people long enough for your own unhappiness. Time to be an adult and deal with it instead of posting shit on facebook.

To which she replied:

As this is none of your business but you felt the need to pry into something that you have no business in to begin with i shall once again explain myself to you though i really see no need in it. This isn't about K, it's about John. My ex from a long time ago, before K, managed to track me down. He's actually dating my best friend from high school, it's ridiculous and wrong and he showed up at my house the day after my birthday drunk as a motherfucker trying to get back into my life because he heard about my divorce. None of this pretains to K or A, But thank you for automatically assuming im that small of a person to just attack him out of nowhere, I never said i was perfect, I never said i wasn't to blame and NONE of this is about K. Maybe next time you see something you don't understand you try asking a question instead of just flat out accusing me and trying to insult me. I almost ended up back in the hospital because of John, he got a couple good hits in, and thank you so much for bringing it back into the light.

So I had to keep going:

See, there you go again. Trying to turn this around on ME. You say that I am the one bringing this "back into the light" but that is such bullshit. YOU posted the status, You say it is none of my business, but yet you continue to post "personal" information on a public forum.
That was a great bullshit story that you came up with, but really? You need to make sure all aspects of your story are cohesive. If what you say is true about "John", then why the hell would you care whether or not he called to wish you a happy birthday? Also, I don't buy you calling your "best friend from high school" an "Oprah Winfrey fat camp reject".
I know that you think that I'm the only one that is "jumping to conclusions", but honestly, we still have several friends in common and most (if not all) thought that you were talking about K and A as well. Maybe you need to stop trying to be so "mysterious" and just come out and say what you mean or keep it to yourself. That way, no one jumps to conclusions.

She decided that after that, she had no more to say to me directly, but updated her facebook status to say this:

some people just make me laugh my ass off at their stupidity, then again i guess stupidity makes you do unbearably dumb things but its not a handdicap so park your dramatic bullshit elsewhere.


HA! My dramatic bullshit!?! Yeah, ok.

I'm still waiting to see if this plays out any further, but in the meantime, I'll be creating posts so that way you'll all really get to know and understand the High Priestess L.